Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Seeking the New Normal

Sitting in Dr. Sur's office today ( the radiation oncologist who first took me on at the Juravinski Cancer Clinic way way back...has it really only been 6 months, sometimes it feels like 6 years...) he does a check on my appetite, asks how I am eating, growls a bit about my weight - only up a pound. I point out it is up a pound not down - and then tells me that the key now is to have regular scans, regular scopes, every three months just to make sure there is no re-occurrence of the cancer. The odds are, the reality is, that at the moment I don't have cancer in me. I am reluctant to say I am cured, I notice very few people who have done cancer ever use the phrase cured, but I am for now dealing with something truly unexpected, getting to a new normal.

A few weeks back, Debi and I went to Toronto, spent the night at the Royal York Hotel, ate a very nice meal in the Library Bar and had, for the first time in months, a normal night out. Two weeks ago, we drove to Pittsburgh ( I have always wanted to visit Pittsburgh and we can talk about that later). A road trip with a detour through an amazing state park, a night in a fabulous inn with a great meal, a couple of sunny hot days in Iron City drinking local grappa, sampling city made gin and eating truly interesting food.

The key difference between these recent experiences and what I did immediately before being diagnosed are actually pretty remarkable. Just prior to the diagnosis, I could barely eat and had no appetite. We could still travel but it just wasn't all that enjoyable for me and I suspect my discomfort made it truly unpleasant for Debi. Now my appetite is back. I can eat just about anything. I can only eat about a third of what I used to eat and my love of beer has been shelved. But I can eat and there is nothing wrong with a white wine or a good grappa. A couple of nights ago I had a bowl of potato garlic soup which was incredible. I loved the flavours, the texture, the taste. The fact that it was a small bowl was of little consequence. The wine I had with the soup was crisp, tart, cold and a bit too expensive but I am not complaining.

All my doctors tell me that the next couple of years are key. This is the time of watchfulness. The first 24-36 months after my type of surgery is the time when a re-occurrence is most likely. My surgeon says, I tell people, spend the first few years doing the things you most like doing. It is a plan.

So the new normal? Figuring out what a decent sized meal really is. Finding wines I really like. Reading books that matter and appeal to me. Talking with and spending time with people I truly enjoy. Writing what matters to me. Travelling with Debi wherever we can and whenever we can. Being with and content in the moment. This is all the new normal.

8 comments:

  1. sounds like a wonderful normal to me - enjoy it....

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  2. A great, optimistic post. Your "new normal" seems to look pretty good to me. Keep it up. Susan sends her regards. Best wishes.

    Joe McReynolds

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  3. Very inspiring Peter. So appreciate you sharing this journey.

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  4. Let it be an exciting and lasting normal! Congrats and greetings to Debi! Sergey cheers for you!

    Marina

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  5. Living in the moment. It's what we all should be doing. Congrats on your continued recovery. Wonderful news. Regarding weight gain have you tried adding pea protein to things like smoothies. It flattens the taste but it does add good protein. You just have to experiment to get the right balance. I don't know if that's something you can eat or not but wanted to mention in case you hadn't tried it.

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  6. Your new normal is the best kind of life. As you wished me on my birthday, revel in it!

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  7. Hope your new normal lasts as long (and is as lovely) as possible. xo.

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  8. ReL My surgeon says, I tell people, spend the first few years doing the things you most like doing -- I think that's good advice for all of us, if we can just remember it day by day.

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